Divorce often marks the end of a marital relationship, but in some cases, communication between ex-spouses doesn’t stop there. While staying in touch may be necessary for co-parenting or resolving lingering issues, there are times when post-divorce interactions cross the line. Excessive texting, online monitoring, or intrusive behavior can escalate into harassment or even criminal activity.
Here’s a closer look at the fine line between communication and criminal behavior, as well as steps you can take if you find yourself in this situation.
Texting and Online Monitoring After Divorce
Occasional communication with an ex-partner, especially when co-parenting, is often unavoidable. However, that communication should remain respectful and limited to the necessary topics. Unfortunately, some individuals use texting, emails, or social media as tools for harassment or control.
Examples of concerning behavior include:
- Excessive or aggressive texting: Sending a barrage of text messages, especially with angry or hostile content, can be overwhelming and intimidating.
- Monitoring social media accounts: Stalking or constantly checking an ex’s posts, photos, or comments with the intent to criticize or control.
- Using tracking apps: Installing apps on a phone or device without consent to follow someone’s location.
- Accessing private accounts: Hacking into an ex-partner’s email, social media, or bank accounts to gather personal information.
These actions, while they may seem minor at first, can quickly escalate and have legal consequences.
When Does It Become a Crime?
Not all difficult post-divorce communication constitutes a crime. However, when interactions become invasive, threatening, or persistent, they may qualify as harassment, stalking, or cybercrime. Below are some signs that boundaries have been crossed:
Threatening or Intimidating Messages
Sending messages that threaten harm, emotional distress, or damage to reputation is classified as harassment and can have criminal penalties.
Persistent Unwanted Contact
If one party asks the other to stop communicating but the texts, calls, or messages continue, this could be considered stalking or harassment.
Using Tech for Surveillance
Using tracking devices, keyloggers, or spyware to monitor someone’s movements or activities without their knowledge is illegal.
Impersonation or Hacking
Pretending to be someone else online to interact with an ex, or illegally accessing their accounts, is a form of identity theft and a federal crime.
Defamation and Public Shaming
Posting derogatory or false information about someone online with the intent to embarrass or harm them can lead to claims of defamation and civil lawsuits.
Recognizing and Addressing the Issue
It’s not always easy to recognize when behavior has gone from frustrating to criminal, especially when emotions are running high post-divorce. Here are some tips to help:
- Trust your instincts: If you feel uncomfortable, overwhelmed, or constantly on edge due to an ex’s behavior, it may be time to set boundaries or take action.
- Document everything: Keep records of communication, such as texts, emails, or social media interactions. This documentation can serve as evidence if legal action becomes necessary.
- Set clear boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits to your ex-partner. Be explicit about what topics and types of contact are acceptable.
- Secure your accounts: Change passwords and enable two-factor authentication on all accounts. If you suspect spyware, consult a tech professional to remove it.
Legal Steps to Protect Yourself
When boundaries are repeatedly ignored, it’s essential to consider legal options to protect yourself. These may include:
Restraining Orders
A restraining order can legally prohibit your ex from contacting you in any way, including through texts, calls, or digital means.
Cease and Desist Letters
Having an attorney send a formal letter demanding the behavior stop can be a strong step before involving law enforcement.
Filing a Criminal Complaint
If actions become threatening or invasive, consider filing a report with the police. Many jurisdictions take stalking and online harassment very seriously.
Consult a Lawyer
A lawyer specializing in family law or cybercrime can guide you through the specific legal options available in your area.
Conclusion
Post-divorce interactions should allow both parties to move forward with their lives, not create an environment of fear or intimidation. If communication or online monitoring escalates into invasive behavior, knowing your rights and legal options is crucial. Protect yourself by setting boundaries, documenting incidents, and seeking legal recourse when necessary.
